March 12, 2007A well-regarded British journalist blogged about her sex life under a different name for years; the sex site grew so popular, she scored a lucrative book offer. A week before the publication, a UK tabloid threatened to release her real name unless she granted an exclusive interview and advanced excerpts. After discussing it with her family, she opted to come forward on her own. Its one thing when Tommy Trailer Trash or Sally Stripper tells all, but when an established reporter goes noir stiletto, it does beg the question -- what's going on?

Is blogging about bedroom activities the virtual version of having sex in a public place? Is telling all in print just another fetish? Or is it something deeper?Considering how fixated we are on sex, it's amazing how infrequent honest sex talk takes place. We all tuned in to Anna Nicole-Smith, red and blue states alike, we gawked and stared at her boobs, and yet most of us struggle to communicate what we want from our partners. A writer's job is to push the envelope, to make readers uncomfortable, and make them think. Does the Queen of England masturbate? Does Barbara Bush like it doggie style? Most of us shudder at the thought of our parents having sex.

But is it a writer's job to reveal everything about themselves? I write a weekly essay and strive to be as truthful as possible about my life. Sometimes I talk specifics; sometimes I tackle larger subjects from politics to sports. Annie Lamont, a well-respected Bay Area writer, talks about the necessity of going for the juggler. She's written about her parents, her children; practically everyone she knows. She says those she writes about get mad, but so do those she ignores; they feel left out.

Putting certain things into print would complicate my world and friendships, but I do wonder if this censoring prevents having a wider readership. The more I write and read, the more I realize that truth is stranger than fiction; and yet great fiction is a reflection of truth, and so there's a flaw in that logic. I'm sure Annie Lamont doesn't tell all. She doesn't have to, as long as she stays true to the emotions of her experience. The facts are irrelevant. I too must strive for such honesty, otherwise this won't be worth anyone's time.