jugglers

March 19, 2007This week I entered the Kerrville New Folk contest for the eighth year in a row. It's hard to believe that I've been hacking away at this for that long. When I listen to what I was doing back then, I realize how far I've come. Ultimately that's what's most important, but the mountain of rejection I've collected over those years does get overwhelming.

Kerrville is Mecca for many singer/songwriters. It's a two-week gathering in the dusty foothills north of San Antonio, Texas. New Folk finalists have gone on to successful careers -- David Wilcox, Jimmie Dale Gilmore, Lucinda Williams, Nanci Griffiths, and Lyle Lovette, to mention just a few.

I went to Kerrville in 1999. I'd been playing seriously for about six-months. I took the three-day course, and attended a week's worth of concerts. I had a great time, and met a lot of interesting people. I know one person that made the final 32 since I started submitting -- Jan Smith. She got in last year, but didn't make the six finalists. Jan's an incredible talent, and I was surprised she didn't go further. But I've also been surprised at others that haven't made it either.

Back in '99, I heard a lot of good players in the finals, but there were several that I felt were questionable. That's the nature of contests. There's always going to be someone you think you're better than.At this point I've stopped worrying about whether I’m better or worse. I'm focused on being the very best ME; that's all I can do. Contests are money makers for the sponsors and I don't enter nearly as many as I once did. Literary contests are suspect for the same reasons, but I was a finalist in the Raymond Carver contest, and I bagged an honorable mention in a contest up in Canada. Winning is possible.

Recently I've taken on freelance consulting projects to meet the monthly bills. Although I enjoy the work, it does zap energy from my writing. I can already feel the disconnect. Part of that is psychological, my system shocked back into reality. I was blessed to focus the way I have, but I could now easily let the creativity slide, or not.

That's why I got off my butt and entered Kerrville. I'm still a player. And even when I'm not writing, my writer's eye is on the hunt for insight and opportunity. I'm no different than most artists -- lots of balls in the air, smoke and mirrors, juke and jive -- I juggle to keep doing what I love. I'd have it no other way